learning to build patiently, silently, or nothing at all.
through real inner work, worldly spiritual work follows.
“Patience is not passive; on the contrary, it is active; it is concentrated strength.”
–– Edward Bulwer-Lytton
// The Potato Carriers (H 48 x W 58 cm) - George William Russell (AE)
This little post is inspired by a larger post that I have written about, sharing my own three year spiritual journey and threshold experience.
One of the most challenging things that I am taught to learn while crossing this threshold is patience.
Patience specifically in the context for spiritual scientists like you and me who dream of pursuing our own spiritual work.
Not necessarily the day-to-day work that we must do in order to survive, but the type of personal or social work that directly contributes towards our community and culture.
The word ‘patience’ is conveyed repeatedly in the wellness or spiritual space, but I believe in reality each of us distinctly struggle with attaining real patience within ourselves, but especially the work that we aspire to bring forth into this world. That is why I am here to explore this today.
Truly, we all desire to become a working vehicle for these very spiritual beings: to become the eyes, hands, and feet of God! Such a desire of work so powerful that we may say to ourselves “by necessity of my vision and this world, I have to pursue this, now. It must be done, now!”
This desire to be a worker of the spiritual world is normally rooted in the goodness of our hearts, for we must help others by this spiritual necessity. This proves that we carry a great vision while being very altruistic in our own ways. Especially as little initiates in training.
However, the problem is that this desire, even if it may be well-intentioned, can make us forget about what we have yet to develop within ourselves. Especially if we have yet to experience the fullness of our own human themes, patterns, and wounds which we are tasked to resolve and redeem to a certain extent.
If we try to pursue our work obsessively without acknowledging what we have, again yet, freed ourselves from, then we may actually harm our own development, and even worse, harm other people.
Due to our obsession towards the idea or impulse of serving others, this excitement can only distract us from real inner occult development. The “serving of the other” can eventually turn into the “serving of the self,” for the self finds itself gradually indulging in the pleasures of work that he or she does in the world, rather than enduring the pain of the work that must be done on her or himself. Especially if this work is receiving seemingly good results.
It can also be seen within the youth or younger adults just like myself who feel the pressure to pursue this work, due to us being enamoured by the many great works of spiritual thinkers on the internet. This is also true when we are exposed to endless opportunities from this ‘digital economy’ where we can easily share our voice, build an audience, and build projects or products that can earn an income.
In general, from within ourselves and the social world without, there’s always something that urges us to work, work more, or think about work!
As easy it is to say than do, especially for those like us who uniquely struggle with patience, we must at least avoid falling for this temptation or obsession. I’m not saying to kill off this wonderful desire of being a worker, nor kill off our current pursuits towards this work, however if we are led to temptation or obsession, whether that is for pursuing this work, or for the results that it may bear, then we may find ourselves at victim to Lucifer or Satan. Especially Lucifer, for he is the being who convinces us that we can change the world despite us being unprepared, while also convincing us that we are more developed than we actually are. This can only lead to pride and delusion, which can bring us away from confronting what remains unfree within us, and from genuine moral development that is required for this vision and work. There are too many pseudo-spiritual teachers in the ‘New Age’ who work for the fallen Lucifer, and are actively hurting people through their deeds due to such pride and delusion.
Since we now know the potential dangers behind our desire for work, the real question that we must ask ourselves is “who do we truly work for?”
That answer will always be “Not I, but Christ!”
For this true work doesn’t represent our own personal vision of what we think this work is, but the vision of the spiritual beings who are directly responsible for transforming our community and culture. That vision can only be understood when we are able to come closer to our real nature, freed from the forces in which make us live or work out of either hurt or hate. This requires patience.
Instead of infusing more ambition into this work of ours, we must find the inner strength to sustain this patience, while we give our work up to the spiritual world.
If we are not ripe enough in both mind and heart, then we will not be properly prepared for our spiritual work. Simply, our work will not respond to us and the world will not respond to our work. To those who know they are led by Spirit, they will understand that their willpower won’t truly work either. No amount of concentration, prayer, or intention can allow us to sustain this will, for our will is no longer coming from freedom.
Thus for now, we must learn to simply live life as a human, devoting ourselves to our mundane personal work rather than worldly spiritual work. Inner work, before outer work. Through this patience can we allow God to give us the proper human threshold experiences that we need, while the Archangels and Archai, the beings behind our culture and age, nourish the vision of this work for us. If we are to prepare the proper fertile grounds of our future spiritual work, then our human training under the angels must come first.
But from this same fertile ground in which we have prepared ourselves through these inner efforts, new spiritual fruits of inspiration and intuition can grow out of us. When the time is ready to bear this fruit, we’ll be given opportunities and permission from the spiritual hierarchy to take on our visions behind this communal or cultural work. But this requires living in patience to see this new reality.
If we find ourselves unable to sustain this patience, just like how I find myself doing repeatedly, then we can at least have the strength to surrender our will to our spiritual guardians, so we can be eventually freed to live without the urges of activity. Through the help of ‘time’, both us and our work will be built invisibly but continuously. Fortunately, there will be many moments in life where we are reminded of how much time can transform us, and how much we can be rewarded by being patient, even if we find ourselves not directly being patient. In all ways, time takes care of everything. That is why when there is patience, there is hope too: a hope that we will always be transformed by time, for time will always favour us humans, and hope will always be there to see us. Real hope can never die, just as we humans can never truly die (Saturn, in-together Jupiter).
Now if we eventually find ourselves at a new threshold where we are tasked with new work, which wonderfully represents a new marker of spiritual development, then we must pursue this work patiently and even silently. Unless we have received real moral inspirations and intuitions from the hierarchical beings to do so, there’s no need to publicize our thoughts, ideas, or projects right away. Especially on social media where brand is made out to be “everything.” This false pressure from the public world can only destroy the personal gifts that we have yet to build the proper foundations for.
That’s why I recommend spending a good few months to meditate on this new work and vision before bringing them in front of the eyes of people. Simple reflection and research will do as we nurture these ideas and are guided by the spirit!
Personally for me, even if I’m currently pursuing this work somewhat in public, my intention is to build my personal website rather than share on online platforms, so I can have the space to share my thoughts, ideas, and research at a comfortable pace. There’s no pressure to post on social media; I only do it if I feel it’s the right thing to do.
That’s why I recommend creating a small website like I have, where you can build your spiritual work without this pressure. Especially if you plan on writing, a private platform can help you develop your voice and develop the format in which you share this voice. Even if you are urged to build publicly, make sure to build something private so your work has a home to come back to.
Anyways, as we begin to share this work, we must take our time, especially if we are attracting an audience. And even if the response to our work is silent, through this silence we will be able to think and act clearly. In silence, we find proper intention and foundation for our spiritual vision, away from premature growth. In time, the public will respond more to our work as we grow our work.
However, one important point that should be mentioned is that while we pursue this work, we may be unsuspectedly removed from it. This removal, or this retreating of the will means that we have met the total fulfillment of this current phase of work. This is okay. Just because our willpower isn’t acting as it had before doesn’t mean we are somehow becoming lazy. In reality, we have opened a new threshold where the vehicles of the ego are stepping into new themes away from work, so we are provided with the unexpected, but important human experiences to further raise this work. This new human experience leads to wisdom.
Such a moral wisdom is crucial if we want to become real spiritual workers under Christ Sophia, and if we want our work to be successful in the world. Rebel against this all we may want, but at the end, there will be no true results without this morality and wisdom. Though after we have focused on these themes, we will be able to return to our work once again, nourished by this outpouring of new inner spiritual material from outer experience.
Thus, in patience and in hope, we shall live to recollect the pieces behind the very puzzle that is our own human and cosmic mystery, in which we shall work towards for the sake of our world and age.
We must remember that by dedicating ourselves to these challenging experiences will we be inevitably led to the very work that we have always envisioned. This work being the work of our future spiritual self under the communions of the angelic hierarchy.
This work is as much of a gift to humanity as it is a gift to spirit.
May we live strong in patience and in hope to see this gift in our hearts.
Through Christ, may our gifts work for Her.
On grounds and up heights,
See to it, spirit works!
Anthony Ng*
The common course of life,
The daily round we plod,
The tasks that seem so wearisome
May all be done for God.
All may of him partake;
Nothing can he so mean which, with this tincture, for his sake,
Will not grow bright and clean.
A servant with this clause Makes drudgery divine.
Who sweeps a room, as for his laws
Makes that small action fine.
–– C.W. Leadbeater (The Masters and the Path - Chapter 03)
With the enduring exercise of patience, the elderly become wise with age.
Without it, little can be understood and few things endured.
Patience is the sanity that comes with the passing of time.
Without it, wisdom cannot find its home in the human heart.
Patience is the wise person who can balance her heartbeat with both the rhythm of the world and the song of the divine.
Patience receives all in time and witnesses the evolution of humanity and the hierarchy. In time, all things change. By holding patience in our hearts, we can change along with the spirit of the times.
–– Tyla Gabriel (The Gospel of Sophia Vol. 3 - Pg 184)
Gentleness and patient reserve open the soul to the soul-world and the spirit to the spirit-world.
Persevere in silent inner seclusion; close the senses to all that they brought you before your training; reduce to absolute immobility all the thoughts which, according to your previous habits, surged within you; become quite still and silent within, wait in patience, and then the higher worlds will begin to fashion and perfect the organs of sights and hearing in your soul and spirit.
–– Rudolf Steiner (Knowledge of Higher Worlds and its Attainment - GA 10)
A little invitation
Out of freedom, if you are interested in hearing more about my own thoughts or journey on spiritual science, especially through the lens of memory, I invite you to join this small blog here.
All thanks to you.
May we memorize!