living in a place of beginning

“The journey of a thousand li starts with a single step.”

–– Laozi

Today, I’ll be opening a challenging threshold just to write this blog.

After writing my last article on “what does it mean to cross the threshold?”, I was inspired to make this post as an attempt toward sharing my three year spiritual journey in relation to this topic.

This includes the beginning of my spiritual journey, how I have entered into my “dark night of the soul” or threshold, and the challenging themes that came with them.

This ones vulnerable, messy, and ultimately incomplete.

No there is no clear “lesson,” “resolution,” nor “transformation” to be found here.

Just my mundane journey and intimate thoughts, shared in public.

If you’re not freely comfortable to read these experiences and musings on this journey of mine, which may be heavy for some, then you are free to skip this. No problem, I hope to see you next time :)

Though if your curiosity is leading you towards understanding how it may feel for somebody else to cross their own threshold, especially if you have a similar (or worser) experience, then I invite you to read further.

I truly believe that giving ourselves a space to write about our own struggles, whether that is for ourselves or other people, can help us be reminded of where we’ve came from and can also reconcile difficult events in our life.

Even if writing these experiences through our conscious-will may be mentally or emotionally challenging, I feel that this is what leads to some form of healing and understanding in our lives. Despite the lack of answers that we’re still looking for.

That is what I’ll be doing today: to pour my heart out onto this page.

This in the hopes of either validating, uplifting, or maybe even inspiring those who are having a similar experience to me.

If this is helpful in any way, then I am happy! Or if nobodies here to read this, then I am happy too! I’m just glad I got to express myself.

Anyways to begin this story of mine, I’ll be going over:

My brief journey before I have “entered into the threshold”, and my experiences when I’ve opened it
My realization of being within the threshold, along with my gradual introduction to spiritual science and Christian thought
My personal themes that I was challenged by, and still are challenged by today

As well as how my life is today, and plans for my future in threshold and beyond.

I’m afraid this post will be very long for you to read, and I to write. 5500+ words and counting (haha).

Even if nobody will care or have the time to for this, I want to be as transparent as possible, while also being as helpful as possible in providing insights throughout each section.

With all said and done, let’s experience this journey together.

Life before the threshold (2020 to 2023)

“Arise from the mud in which you have came from, and come to find yourself in the future in which had came from mud, and which had came to find me.”

–– Call from Sophia (30 Mar 2026)

Before exploring the period where I began directly facing my threshold, I would like to briefly go over my journey before this as just a teenager.

Around 15, I was very much your typical teenager who had developed a deep interest for self improvement. This passion stemmed from the realization that I was living what it felt to be a dull mechanical youth. I was just a kid who was relying solely on his parents and was consumed by his sensual addictions, especially at such a young age! This had to be overcome with brute force!

And thus during this period the fires in my heart were stimulated, and I was pushing myself in every way possible to free myself of my old self. Here I was primarily occupied with learning art, doing calisthenics or working out, and building my YouTube channel which at the time, was basic men’s self-improvement content.

Admittedly I really never had any inclination towards spiritual topics or thoughts, but only ones that were more material and superficial in nature. I was always open to the mysteries of the world, but it never crossed my mind. I was just busy aggressively trying to improve myself.

But as I grew up to be 17, I was slowly leaning towards philosophy and psychology. Primarily through the works of Carl Jung and other Depth Psychology material on the topics of the soul, psyche, and unconscious. Along with many some spiritual ideas from the ‘New Age’ as well, which developed my overall worldview.

This was a wondrous time, and despite the many self-delusions I was happily exploring my inner world.

I was already meditating before this point, but then I started to shift my meditation work into this type of “imagination work.”

This imagination work, through stimulating our internal images, be it symbols, figures, or landscapes, opens new astral doorways toward other beings, along with our very own unconscious and even threshold. My first time attempting this imagination work was the moment where I met the figure of my “spirit guide,” which they refer to in the ‘New Age.’

This “figure” is really just an after-image of our true angelic being inspiring it. However, this guide allowed me to cultivate clearer thinking within myself that was more spiritual in nature. They helped a ton in bringing me further into a spiritual environment where I felt deeply connected. Overall, real spiritual guides, or guardian angels do this; they help stimulate better thoughts and feelings within us, even if they have a veil over them.

Thus, through using this faculty of thinking and imagination towards communion, I was transcribing their dialogue with the limitations of my current spiritual language and perception. It’s basically like talking and listening to yourself, rather than another being speaking to you, because of this limitation of language and perception.

It’s clear that we can’t directly face these beings through this method alone, but can only serve as a preliminary step toward real communion, which is attained through clairvoyance. But this is a clear sign that the beings that we are trying to communicate with are not pushing us.

For me I believe this preliminary step, working with my imaginations and showing interest towards the spiritual world, had slowly opened up a threshold without me realizing it.

Though at this time, much of my knowledge about my own unresolved nature and wounds (doubt, hatred, and fears) were still unconscious. No amount of inner-practice, focus, or work I’ve done on myself would have led me closer to understanding this. And no matter how many times I would ask, I would only get answers that were vague and insufficient. It was as if this challenging material was kept hidden for a reason.

This affirms the idea that nobody we cannot force premature development onto ourselves through our will. And this disassociation of mine is clear that the spiritual world did not want me to confront such challenging material yet, except if I want to be destroyed by it.

So here I remained in blissful ignorance for quite some time, continuing to live my life as it was. Though soon, if I had not begun to attain the self-knowledge of what remained unconscious in me, then I would have grown more complacent, unable to begin my true ‘path to spirit.’

Thus nearly at the age of 18, it can be observed that the threshold was slowly opening up to me.

Opening up the threshold (2023 and 2024)

The beginning of opening my own threshold was in actuality a very slow process.

I believe that I have actually started to open my own threshold when I was introduced into more spiritual topics and practices, without realizing it.

However at the beginning of 18, it can be seen that these symptomatic effects were starting to take place in my own life and my own body. Albeit very subtly that you cannot notice it.

A little before this time I was newly introduced to astrology by a good friend, which had transformed my entire view on myself and my personality.

Because of my new knowledge on astrology, I chalked these experiences up to be merely an astrological transit, and that it will “go away” on it’s on after a “few days or weeks.” Oh boy I was wrong!

Slowly and slowly as the days and weeks went by, I was no longer feeling like “myself.” My old routines and spiritual practices flew out of the window. Old bad habits towards self-stimulation had returned, despite overcoming them. My thoughts and feelings were starting to become unusually dull. It felt like my willpower was being restricted from the things I wanted to do. And overall, I was starting to feel confused, shameful, and angry. Especially angry. I was angry to the point that I was going totally mad, and rightfully so.

At this time, I just finished highschool and planned for my entire year gap towards building my online personal brand and business. I wanted to do creator coaching at the time since I loved it (and still love it), so I could build a life doing what I enjoyed, rather than going to college or have a job. However because of this shift in my life, this was starting to ruin my plans, and it eventually made me lose control over my life.

Even on some rare days where I was given some energy and opportunity to continue this work, the threshold, or the guardian of the threshold, would restrict my actions to prevent me from progressing further.

And no matter how many times I would violently respond to this restriction through my willpower and desire for freedom, I would always be caught by this guardian, over and over. Forcing my life to come to a stand-still after each attempt toward outer freedom. I would make these attempts repeatedly, and the result would always be the same: kicked out of my physical pursuits, and brought back to my interior world.

Here, my senses would start to dull more and more, and disappear into a mechanical nothingness where my days would feel like a repeat of itself. Devouring myself and my own vehicles for days and weeks on end.

During this tireless repeating, or looping, I would slowly be confronted with my own themes, patterns, and wounds that I have yet to understand, or confront in me. This wasn’t all that challenging at first since I was still distracting myself, but certainly I was becoming more confused to why they existed in the first place. The more I stepped into the threshold, the more my ego would be subtly torn apart, and was forced to confront them.

From this period onward, you can fill in the blanks for yourself.

I’ll have to mention that I was able to get away with living this life of because of my lack obligations, along with me living with my parents, which I still do right now.

Perhaps these spiritual beings imposed this inactivity from the outer world so this threshold would be facilitated for me. But despite the “explanations” behind them, it still doesn’t feel good. Especially since I’m a young man with lots of energy, along with many pressures from the outside world.

Indeed, these are not very ideal times.

However, this would serve as the precursor to my threshold journey.

Life in the threshold, and entering into spiritual science (late 2024 onward)

Understanding the nature of the threshold (death) shall lead you to understand the nature of the spiritual world (life).

— (30 Dec 2025)

Before, I was chalking up this strange phenomenon in my life to astrological transits, which was only part of the truth. Even if it was the effects of the spheres on me, I couldn’t find a damn single clue to where! (Today I don’t even care).

However soon, I would begin to learn about the concept of the “Dark Night of the Soul” through the book written by Gerald G. May. This was before learning the universal concept of the threshold through occult science. But nonetheless reading about it made me learn that my life shared similar characteristics to this dark knight. Learning this has brought me great comfort at the time, and had brought me closer to Christianity and Christian thought. Using the name “God” felt very good, and was the birth of my devotion.

Luckily in that same year later, I randomly came across videos, articles, and quotations related to Theosophy, and then Anthroposophy. Especially on the topic of the threshold.

Coming across these spiritual sciences were transformative in developing a proper view of myself and the world that felt so humanly right. The role it had in providing the necessary context behind crossing the threshold, and the challenging themes behind my life was enormous. It slowly brought real, concrete, and objective understanding to the mysteries of my own life, albeit all still unravelling.

Before this occult scientific worldview, most of my worldview was very similar to those in the ‘New Age’. Nothing wrong with the material in the ‘New Age.’ In actuality, this century is a wonderful opportunity for many eastern teachings to be renewed through the western mind, amongst many other opportunities and teachings. Especially if its coming from a place of a positive Luciferic impulse.

Still, this knowledge, and the overall temperament of the ‘New Age’ was insufficient for providing a cosmology of our world that could bring me real context to this confusing life.

What I needed was a concrete spiritual language that can bring me this context. Just as every person should find their own spiritual language, Anthroposophy and it’s Christianity, along with Theosophy and it’s revised eastern teachings was that right language for me. A language that I can feel happy with building upon.

And speaking of Christianity, I even started to adopt Christian-thought naturally during this time. It was odd since I didn’t show much interest towards Christianity, nor the Bible. I actually thought that the Bible, at least our “modern Bible” was illegitimately written, and did not possess the true words of God.

However slowly over time, these beliefs wouldn’t matter. Even though I haven’t read the Bible at the time, nor have I read much of it today (I am so sorry), I had pledged myself to Jesus Christ and Mary Sophia.

This shows how we can be subtly led towards a truer thought, in which can both nourish us and sustain us.

Despite the many unspoken pains that I’ve endured in that year, I am so very thankful to Spirit for my introduction into real living spiritual science.

Praise the Lord!

My relationship to knowledge

To continue on my beginnings into spiritual science, it’s good to mention that I never began this journey through reading many books. Like “Isis Unveiled” by H.P Blavatsky or “Knowledge of Higher Worlds” by Rudolf Steiner. The books that usually people start off with when venturing into proper occultism.

As a beginner and amateur, I was instead slowly and subtly attracted to smaller, specific, and digestible ideas which were more appropriate to me at that time.

Of course out of interest, I was learning from many videos, lectures, and articles, but they had to be very topic specific to my journey. Keyword searches and all. I still feel the same about this today.

However outside of this gentle study, I believe the beings of knowledge, behind Anthroposophy and Theosophy, had stimulated many higher thoughts and feelings within me, along with many imaginations and inspirations in my life.

Perhaps it’s because I’m still young, and haven’t aged enough to have the sufficient vehicles to carry more heavy knowledge, in ways that is healthy and not detrimental to my early and fragile growth. Perhaps there’s a big difference between a 20 year old studying spiritual science compared to a 30 year old, since we both are in different periods of life or intellectual development (which can be understood in this resource). Indeed, I have many limitations to my mental capacities, no matter how much I desire to study more.

But instead, I was encouraged to play with ideas rather than acquire them. I was building an early relationship towards what I already knew, rather than learning more than I needed.

Personally I see knowledge as new building blocks in which we can build new thought-structures with. At this young age, I don’t need many blocks to build great living structures within myself. Whether that is to further my own language of spiritual science or even to develop higher thinking in myself. I can make do with acquiring knowledge at a slow and steady pace.

I believe this applies to every person.

Even if we only know a few spiritual ideas, as long as they are the right ideas, then they will compound into more ideas on their own. After all, real ideas are living and growing as we live and grow. If we can contemplate, meditate, and write about the few ideas we already have, then they’ll grow into something greater while we are led more to those right ideas.

I believe the knowledge of the sense-world serves only as a physical anchor towards the super-sensible knowledge that we already have within us. These are our own archetypal mysteries that pertains to us, and of this world. The more we develop, the more we can access this personal and objective knowledge inside of ourselves. This especially becomes pronounced when our thoughts, feelings, and actions become higher.

We cannot allow ourselves to be bound solely to the ideas that we receive from the physical world.

We must learn to retreat within, and allow this personal mystery knowledge to direct us without.

Every act to connect to this soul knowledge is an act to connect with the angels.

For the true nature behind knowledge directly relates to the nature of the angels.

In Knowledge, we shall find them: spirits of ourselves.

Spirit-self.

Understanding karmic challenges (and the question of suffering)

But just because we are able to develop a higher understanding of the world doesn’t mean any of our human experiences become any easier.

Personally, the inspirations from spiritual science had helped me build an understanding of these difficult times. Primarily my themes (physical), patterns (etheric), and wounds (astral) that are archetypal and karmic in nature.

But there is a limit to this understanding when crossing the threshold, and most of the physical themes that I endure day-to-day goes beyond understanding.

It goes so beyond understanding to the point that I almost go insane both trying to figure out the reasons for why my soul has to experience this, and the benefits to what my soul can gain from such life themes. Especially in relation to karma, and how this karma may pertain to my past, or future.

Anyways, I would like to take this moment to share some of these themes of mine, to paint a deeper picture of my own threshold throughout these 3 years.

I also recommend doing this for yourself as well, despite how challenging it may be to do so. But like I’ve said before, this can allow us to better understand our own life, along with the spiritual forces that are directing it. One by one, these bitter facts about ourselves point to our own deep mysteries. I believe for everybody.

anthony-ng-natalchart
Natal Chart - 25 June 2005

To start, the major themes, along with patterns and wounds that I’m listing here correspond directly to the zodiac of Cancer, and the placements within Cancer in my chart (Saturn with Mercury + Venus). My life, and my struggles is really an archetypal drama of Cancer!

With this context, here is a list representing my major challenges with the being of Cancer within my life:

Family dynamics: I have an excellent family, yet I have many challenging personal dynamics towards my parents, especially my mother. This especially includes terrifying confrontations with the archetype of the devouring mother, within my mother and my home. Along with scenarios where I feel I have to fully rely on my parents for everything, even despite refusing to. There is this dread of remaining as the puer aeternus (eternal boy); this feeling of being held back by the “mother” and held back by the family. Unable to feel like a man, nor a human. As painful as it is to admit, this does lead to understanding the nature of Cancer, both the lows and highs.
Restriction, and the restrictive forces behind my willpower, limbs, and outer aspirations; it is as if my arms and legs were taken away from me, especially in times of serious activity, aspiration, and ambition where I refuse to let go. There is great suffocation and great yearning to be felt, a maddening one at that. If you are a man, this is the worst feeling you can ever have. Freedom feels impossible to reach.
Lack of belonging, or home / loneliness from people or groups: I’m usually misplaced with people, acquaintances, or friends who are usually different than me. There is also this loneliness that I have away from the proper people or groups in which I can relate to, on a deeper level. Being in this threshold, it seems impossible for me to reach my hand out to these ideal people and groups. Instead of my voice reaching anybody, it just reaches space. Unable to connect with anybody, nor anybody connecting with me. I am invisible. Cannot belong.
Terrible self-devouring: the uncontrollable impulse to lose oneself in food, entertainment, and even pornography. As the senses loosen themselves more and more through crossing the threshold, these impulses are stimulated and released. And the ego––despite it’s growing hatred for this lower nature––must live into this disgusting force no matter such hatred. After almost 3 years of being in the threshold, I’ve grown to believe this is the result of the ego dissociating whenever it crosses deeper into the threshold. Not necessarily only because this lower nature is being released from me. This is not a comfortable realization to be had. I pray for this to be totally exhausted soon.
Misunderstanding: I’ve always felt, and almost been misunderstood by those around me, and the people around me. No matter how much I speak, or how silvery my tongue is, there will always be a misunderstanding. Especially due to mental and emotional dissonance. That is why I “hide things” in order to prevent misunderstandings. For this feeling is painful, the pain of not being seen, to be cared for, or to come face-to-face. On the contrary, I want to understand people more because of this terrible pain.
Accepting my younger self, and the life of my younger self: the former here is much easier than the latter. I used to hate my child-self, but now I love him. But the spiritually-dead life that my child-self had to experience stirs the continuous thoughts of: “Why was my life, and my consciousness so terribly dull?” “How have I completely lost myself, and my soul to be devoured by such terrible self-stimulation?” “How have I completely lost myself and my soul to be unable to do anything but rely on my own parents?” “Why would the world take away my limbs, my will, and my strength?!” “Where has spirit been all of my life? Why does it appear now? I do not deserve this!” This is my struggle towards accepting the current life that I have.

As you can see, these many themes bring me great terror. Whether I was a kid, at the age of 18, or at the near age of 21 now, I always had some sort of threshold experience with these maddening and saddening themes.

It truly is a terribleness that can never be fully described no matter how much I desperately try to do so for others or myself.

From observation, even such terrible experiences (and activations) also don’t have an explicit opportunity for growth.

They just happen, and you don’t know what to do to resolve them, but only be relentlessly crushed into a mire by them. Over, over, and over. Even if you have made many attempts to make these resolutions, you will only be crushed more by what you want to resolve. Most efforts revert back.

Indeed, this is my own existential crisis with God, for I cannot understand what he specifically wants with me in this life.

But from my experience, no amount of kicking, screaming, and crying, while I ask “why, why, why?!” has ever led me to understand the soul-reasons behind such difficult events.

The question is, can we ever understand such reasons?

Can we ever find answers to these terrible themes?

To start, I personally believe so in my heart, which I’ve shared in my previous article (relating to understanding the contexts behind our own birth and life).

However at the same time, as I’m still trying to figure this out while I’m writing this, unfortunately I don’t think we can ever know at this current moment.

In relation to the reason why the soul must experience these events, some of us may jump to conclusion and say “because there is a lesson that we need to learn.” That may be true. But what is also true is that it may be impossible to understand the legitimate “lesson” in our lives now. And if we try to apply a lesson to our experiences prematurely, we’ll only miss the mark from the true mystery behind this experience. Perhaps for now, we must bear the heavy burden of enduring our troubles, for no “real reason.”

This perhaps means that there is hardly any “reason” that we can currently understand, nor can bring us any real comfort. Even if we may apply a little understanding of karma, we can’t tell whether these reasons originate from the past, present, or future.

As easier it is to say than do, perhaps we are not meant to find comfort in reasons.

Though at the same, we cannot suppress this desire within us to find these reasons, for the impulse to uncover them is spiritual scientific in nature, and crucial for understanding our own human story, or biography. It is what makes us human to have these desires to understand.

But our desire, or even passionate desire (out of suffering) to understand the reasons behind ‘who we are’ and ‘what our life is’ can perhaps only be fulfilled for a future where we have met the conditions for them. My intuition is that this reason is bigger than any reason we can conceptualize through the sense-brain, which may go beyond our present birth completely. So perhaps we must continue to live first. We must live into the question of this mystery.

And as impossible as it may seem to me personally as well, I feel urged to say that you and I must continue to build endurance in the meantime. A type of spiritual endurance that will lead to a spiritual strength, in which allows us to stand upright during these times of great destruction. Even if we cannot remain upright, then we can allow ourselves to fall onto our knees or even crunched up.

As long as we continue to live through, and recover from our confusion, despair, or madness, then we can always push forward to tomorrow. Day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year, we shall slowly arise from the mud in which we have found ourselves in from our lower nature, and into the heights of true spiritual life. Jesus Christ and Mary Sophia, I feel, will be there to watch each and every one of us in our own attempts toward human victory.

Despite the horrors that we may be facing, I write this not to necessarily comfort anybody, but for us to brace ourselves continually for the upcoming archetypal upheavals that we’ll experience.

Reasons understood or not, one day it shall be clear that we will come to the real spiritual reasons to our lives, and the spiritual roles behind our lives.

These secret human mysteries, only found across our own threshold.

The home where our spirit lives.

As our dark nights deepen, we find ourselves recovering our love of mystery. When we were children, most of us were good friends with mystery. The world was full of it and we loved it. Then as we grew older, we slowly accepted the indoctrination that mystery exists only to be solved. For many of us, mystery became an adversary; unknowing became a weakness. The contemplative spiritual life is an ongoing reversal of this adjustment.

–– Gerald G. May (The Dark Night of the Soul)

i too hate God for making me born with such an impure and immoral nature, with such impulses and restrictions outside of my control.

however perhaps, this hate shall pass, and once i have found the truth behind my birth––the mystery behind this karma––then i shall no longer feel a need to hate.

perhaps the more i know, the more i will hate.

but even so, i want to know the truth.

i want to remember why i came to this earth for.

— (11 Dec 2025)

Present day threshold (2026 onward)

Jumping into the present day where I have the privilege to write this blog, I have yet to see the realization of the threshold.

How long will the threshold impose it’s influence onto my life?

Only the Guardian knows.

In terms of real-world spiritual results?

Overall, I feel much mature, temperate, and refined in my attitudes. But that’s all I can say about this supposed transformation.

Even through experiencing the fires of the threshold for 3 years, I’m still unable to clearly convey or even understand how I was personally transformed by it, whether thats to myself, or others.

In our hearts, we know we’ve totally changed, but in our minds, we cannot totally understand what had happened.

Perhaps real occult transformation is subtle. It doesn’t catch attention, nor does it exist to impress. It just happens. And whether that is our growth, or our direct encounters with the spiritual world, we’ll grow to have no interest in sharing our transformations, at least prematurely to others. Quite especially when there is much work left to be done for ourselves.

So for now, I will respect this feeling of mine and keep my spiritual progress open-ended to the reader, because I am still flawed as a human being. Very much so.

And admittedly so, my progress still isn’t enough to kill off what remains lowest within me and what remains unresolved in my life. Perhaps not even close. Despite the many reality-crushing feelings and experiences I’ve had, many of my doubts, hatreds, and fears still have yet to be waned. I even still find myself reverting back to square one during passionate activations.

This fact is terrifying, but at the same time, this same fact deepens the mystery behind my life. A mystery that I must have the courage and strength to live into in order for me to understand the spiritual role to this life. Despite the lack of answers that I may want, nor the clear signs of growth that I desire, I will have to face my future head on.

I cannot lie and say that I have no expectations in potential outcomes. However, the more I grow, the more I come to desire less in acquiring the outcomes that I have expected before. These are the real outcomes I look forward to, not false personality ones.

What does it look like to consciously cross towards the end of the threshold?

With my current brain-bound thinking, no amount of knowledge, thoughts, or images can help me understand what this looks like. No amount of cases, stories, or experiences from other people can ever help me understand what this looks like. At least for myself.

Even I don’t know if it’s truly my task to fully cross the threshold, for this is a task that can possibly take an entire lifetime or lifetimes, and this very thought itself of “fully crossing” feels revoltingly arrogant. The Luciferic spirits really love to enter into my etheric body at each thought of this, which is a valid thought and question (damn Lucifer).

But I also believe in my heart that as long as I remain within this threshold, then I shall remain dead, and kept away from the real spiritual life that I yearn for. If that is the case, then I have no choice but to endure.

I feel that many people share this same sentiment as well. For us, only through passing the threshold of death entirely shall we find ourselves in the realms of spiritual life.

A life that we were yearning for our entire lives.

A life that we can call home.

A life that we can call true love.

This life can be found there, and found here.

Through our free wills, we choose life!

If life can only be found across this dark land, then we must cross it.

In death, may we find true aliveness!

May They be there to sing our songs as we become alive!

Spirits of Men, see to it that we become alive!

Praise the Lord!

Amen!

In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed.

For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality.

So when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption, and this mortal shall have put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in victory.

O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?

The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law.

But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.

— 1 Corinthians 15: 52-58

To be continued…

I believe I’ve totally exhausted the amount of words I could write here.

Good, I feel empty now, and perhaps you feel satisfied.

If so, then I’m happy to hear.

I hope these intimate human experiences and these spiritual musings have benefited you in some way, especially if you are experiencing challenging times like mine, or even greater.

I pray for the both of us that we’ll continue to live and grow healthily into spirit, the place that we deserve to belong.

After all that we have endured, may we soon sense this belonging within us.

A belonging that can be seen and felt all around us.

In the Lord and the Lady, shall we find this belonging.

In humans, and spirits!

Anthony Ng*

In real freedom, if you are willing to hear more about my own thoughts or journey as I build this small blog, I invite you to join this blog.

All the thanks to you.

(future work)

Since we’ve wrapped up this post, for fun I’d like to briefly share my future aspirations.

I aim to build my personal blog and brand, slowly and steadily as I document my thoughts, experiences, and ideas behind my spiritual studies and research. This is the foundations behind my work on “Memoria Sophia” and other projects. Right now, this will serve as my humble beginnings but as I continue to grow, I aspire to build an active audience. Not to necessarily teach, but to inspire us to explore our own mysteries.
I aim to build the “Memory Center” which is a real-world place for gathering, communion, and research toward our ever-evolving spiritual science. Not just Anthroposophical, but of global esoteric thought. The gathering of all different peoples here is essential for renewing the cultures of today. My first attempt in pursuing this project will be through a magazine of sorts where many spiritual scientists, who are inspired by Theosophy and Anthroposophy, can have a platform to share their own ideas, and be compensated by it. This will be a modern esoteric newspaper for spiritual science toward our shared movement.
Develop my illustrative art further, in both technical skill and style, so I am able to clearly convey these internal images, figures, and landscapes
Enter into other creative pursuits such as fashion, architecture, and more toward infusing a shared spiritual impulse in them.

Though the specifics are not up to me, a work that can contribute toward spiritual science, modern aesthetics, and culture is my dream type of work.

I’m sure this is similar for you as well; a work that we can participate in the global-stage of humanity.

Will talk more about this topic soon.

Anyways, thank you and your precious time.

I hope you continue to have a wonderful week.

Please take care of yourself.

Again,